I have to admit, I’ve grown quite attached to the idea that God made the way I am, with the interests and talents I have. For months I’ve been coming to this realization of how personal He is to me. So when I get excited about something as silly as finding a new program for my Mac that will help me make instructional videos for PeacefulTech, part of the excitement is simply digging further into who he has made me. Me, individually. Anthony Stauffer. Just as I am. But then I had an awful thought today….
What if the things I get excited about aren’t really important to him? What if the things that make me who I am aren’t important to him, but only the things that people traditionally associate with being "Christian". What if my gift for playing blues guitar doesn’t matter to him? What if my interests and talents in the technology world are just distractions from what he really wants me to be doing? What if I’m doing this all wrong? What if he’s not there with me at work, helping me discover how to solve problems? What if he’s not really speaking to me throughout the day?
What if God is sitting in Heaven watching me waste my time down here on things that he’s not interested in? (….silence)
I know now, more than ever, that I will NEVER go back to believing that. I can’t. What I have experienced in the last year or so is more precious to me than anything I’ve ever had or known. If for some reason I got stuck in a really religious church that didn’t believe that this is how God interacts with us, it would break my heart. If I was told that what I’m gifted in didn’t matter to him, or that my music wasn’t from him, I wouldn’t know how to go on living.
He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.