"Can I have another shot of those eye drops?" I asked the nurse.  I had barely slept the night before because my eyes were hurting so bad.  It felt like a grain of sand under my eyelid, and nothing I did could get rid of it.  I went to the emergency room the next morning where they put some drops in my eye that numbed the pain. 

I would have done anything to get rid of that pain.  I knew the drops were not good for my eyes in the long run, but I just didn’t care.  Once I experienced even a little bit of relief, I just wanted to keep the pain away.  Thank God the doctors weren’t allowed to give me what I wanted that day.

Sin is medication – Most things that we consider "bad" are really just pain medication.  Most people feel a dull ache in their soul and will do anything to find some satisfaction.  That ache comes from a lifetime of missing the one thing that can fulfill us completely.

The ache inside – Most of us crave attention.  We long for someone to tell us we’re valuable.  There’s a reason for that.  We were all born incomplete.  There is a need for validation, affection, completion, and affirmation that every single person needs.  Parents, peers, children, and friends cannot completely fill this need. 

So some people turn to Jesus.  They’re promptly taught that the answer to that ache is to serve Jesus.  To do good works.  But they never really learn to experience God rather than serve him.  They continue doing God’s work, thinking that in that work come fulfillment.  But the hunger deep inside for approval and validation continues to hurt.

Is it any wonder that so many people turn to alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, sex, fame, or any number of other things?  What do you do when nothing anyone says takes away the ache in your soul?  If you can’t fix it, than you might as well numb the pain. 

Addicted to numbness – There is a physical side to addiction, but I believe there’s also an emotional side to it as well.  How many people get completely wasted because for a couple of hours they feel free from the cares of the world, and they temporarily stop feeling that something is just wrong without being able to fix it. To feel that temporary freedom becomes an addition.  And pretty soon the physical catches up with the emotional and now our bodies are as addicted as our souls are.

Living Water – God is the only thing that can take away the ache in our soul.  The feeling of emptiness.  But it doesn’t happen by studying the Bible if we still view him as a far-in-the-distance God.  Until we come to grips with the fact that he wants to be integrated into our lives like breathing will we experience the fulfillment that only he can bring.

Many things in our lives take hard work.  Most of those things give us callused hands.  If our walk with God is like that work, eventually we’ll get a callused heart.  Unable to feel compassion, contentment, comfort, or conviction, we’ll settle for  guilt, condemnation, judgement and anger. 

It’s a good thing to stop every once in a while and ask ourselves this question. 

"How difficult is it for me to be a good Christian?" 

Eucalyptus Jesus

A while back Lori and I travelled to Las Vegas.  While staying at the Luxor Hotel, we went to a day spa.  I had never been to any such thing before, so I didn’t know what to expect.  One of my favorite things about it was the sauna, with eucalyptus steam.  Sitting in there in the intense heat, breathing in the sinus clearing eucalyptus steam was a refreshing and restful experience. 

As I left the sauna, I was sweating, so I went to the huge jacuzzi, where I soaked for as long as I could stand the water.  Then I grabbed some juice, a newspaper, and just sat on a lounge chair by the pool for a good while.

I abided in that spa for just a couple of hours and it refreshed me more than anything else on that trip.  Imagine if I could pack up that day spa in a box and take it with me anywhere.  The next time I need a break from whatever is frustrating me, I take a few minutes to soak in the dense, refreshing eucalyptus steam.

How much more kind, patient, compassionate, and loving would I be if I could experience that anytime, anywhere?  I’m getting to a place where I’m realizing that experience the presence of God is every bit as refreshing as that spa.  It refreshes my spirit, my mind, and my soul.

Abiding in God instead of working for him

Jesus instructed us to abide in him as He abides in us ( John 15:4 ).  Should that be something that take a lot of work.  Does it take a lot of work to abide in your house?  When you sit down on your sofa, is that a lot of work?  Do you have to earn the right to be in your house?  Maybe your house needs some work done, so it does take some work.  But Jesus ain’t no fixer-upper.  He don’t need any work.  Abiding in him is a place of resting, not a place of labor.

If we perceive our walk with God to be one that involves strain, friction, tension, labor, etc…  we begin to develop calluses on our heart that prevent us from experiencing the fruits of the Spirit.  We think that praying must be done a certain way, at a certain time of day, in a certain place.  So getting to that place is sometimes difficult, but we strain to make it there faithfully because that’s what a good Christian does.

We work so hard making sure that no one else experiences any kind of inconvenience or hardship, maybe partly because we think God expects that of us.  So our relationship with him becomes callused.

God is not our work

There are certainly things in this life that will require us to work hard.  We will develop calluses to many things.  We’ll grow callused to the shock of waking up early in the morning.  We’ll grow callused to the cold wind on our face.  We may even grow callused to the back breaking labor required to do some of our jobs.

But God is not our work.  Our work is not a prerequisite for being in relationship with him.  It’s important not to confuse the two.  God is IN our work, but he is not our work.  Our work may give us calluses, but God will not.

Rest for the weary

Some people have been building callused hands and hearts by working for a God they barely know for so long that they wouldn’t hear God’s voice if he spoke to them verbally.  The good news is that there’s a place of rest for even those tired laborers.  No heart is too callused that he can’t soften it.  No spirit is so callused that he can’t break through. 

Give your religious job your two weeks notice.  You just got a new place to live and it’s already paid for.

As Lori and I have been working towards completing our remodeling job here at the house, I’ve often felt anxious over scheduling of the different people we have doing different parts of the job.  I’ve had a hard time nailing down concrete dates for much of this project, and this has caused some stress.  I suppose that this is normal, but lately I’m realizing that I must really guard my spirit against feelings of despair.

Despair as I understand it is the feeling of impending doom.  A fear of the unknown, of the worst possible scenario.  It is a sinking feeling that will keep you from sleeping, and occasionally from eating.  I’ve struggled with this my whole life.  At times I think it might have been depression, but regardless of the cause, I’m convinced now more than ever that I must confront feelings of despair with nothing less than righteous anger.

Despair will mess up your whole life, rendering you helpless to function in even the most basic ways.  I believe that despair is rooted in fear.  And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that God has not given us a spirit of fear.  It says so in the bible.  I also struggle with fear a lot too.  Lori travels around the world as part of her job, and I often struggle with not thinking about the worst things that could happen as she travels.

The thing about it is, being anxious, being worried, and being full of despair does absolutely nothing to change anything.  It drags you down to the point where you’re scared to leave the house, to feel like you must always be in constant contact with those you love to make sure nothing bad happens to them.

Laying our cares upon the Lord is a wholly unnatural thing for us to do.  But it’s the only thing that will bring us peace.  Despair has robbed me of too many hours of sleep.  And I love sleep.

This is part 2 of this article, for proper context, see part 1….

So there I am, browsing youtube, looking at videos of people playing like SRV, and that familiar feeling of dread starts rising up inside of me.  "I need to start practicing, I need to catch up. I need to be better than them all"  But rather than indulge those feelings, I began to step back and ask some tough questions.

Why do I feel the need to be the best guitar player?
If I was the best, what would I want people to say about me?
Why would I want them to say it?
If I was the best and nobody knew it, would I still be happy?

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Some of you may already know that I run a guitar lesson website called StevieSnacks.com.  I was very influenced by the guitar stylings of Stevie Ray Vaughan as I learned, and I’m trying to pass on some of that knowledge.  Part of making that website relevant is knowing who else out there is doing what I’m doing.  So I was cruising YouTube on my iPhone last night, looking for videos of people playing like Stevie Ray Vaughan.  As I did this I experienced something that I honestly thought I had gotten over.  The gut-wrenching feeling that I need to get SERIOUS about my guitar playing because some of these people are better than me and I need to catch up fast!

I’m going to try and disect what I was feeling and why I was feeling it.  But first, let me go back in time a bit to explain how I got here.

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Was discussing with Rob yesterday about the damage that gossip can do to relationships within a group of people, especially a church.  While we were talking I started thinking about some things that I’ve felt the Holy Spirit challenging me with lately regarding loyalty.  It’s not a term you hear much these days except when talking about sports.  But I think it’s time for me and maybe some other people to think about what it really means to call someone a friend.

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I have to admit, I’ve grown quite attached to the idea that God made the way I am, with the interests and talents I have.  For months I’ve been coming to this realization of how personal He is to me. So when I get excited about something as silly as finding a new program for my Mac that will help me make instructional videos for PeacefulTech, part of the excitement is simply digging further into who he has made me.  Me, individually.  Anthony Stauffer.  Just as I am.  But then I had an awful thought today….

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For years I felt as if I was running. Like being stuck on permanent Fast-Forward. Driven to get to the next place, to do the next thing. Nothing was ever done, there was always more to do. And it had nothing to do with anything physical.

The relationships that I got into were short and dramatic. I had my heart broken in quick fashion. Twice I thought I had met the girl I was going to marry. Until it fell apart. The drama was like a drug, I didn’t know what life was like without it.

When I met Lori, I experienced a peaceful relationship with no drama. It seemed strange and wonderful, but my soul was still in motion, still running. So I worked. And worked. And worked. Kept busy chasing that thing that was always just around the corner. The record deal. Whatever. Missed many quiet evenings together. I was fast-forwarding through life.

But finally, I have come into a place of peace. I have found what I was looking for.  I have found my significance in the only thing that matters.  After 31 years of chasing what can’t be caught, my soul is at rest.

Just wanted to quickly mention that I wrote an article over on PeacefulTech.com about the benefits of being willing to learn something new n the technology world.  The reason that it’s relevant here is that the same things apply in our spiritual lives as well.  The ability to learn and remember new things is a great gift, and one that I exercise regularly.  Making the decision to be willing to learn something new touches on your pride, your significance, and a ton of other things, but the bottom line is this:  If you won’t learn, you can’t be led.

Read the article here…

If you spend more worrying if you’re breaking the sabbath than actually resting….you might be religious.

If the preacher has ever had to wait for you to finish your “Amen” commentary….you might be religious.

If young sisters take their earrings out when they see you coming….you might be religious

And finally, if the name of your church ends with the name of your Pastor….you really might be religious.